Mauritius, I’m sorry I left you. I know you think I’ve forgotten you. I know you think I’ve erased you from my mind. I haven’t. How could I ever do such a thing? Mauritius, you took my heart. You broke it and kept some pieces with you. You took them and hid them away within our memories together. You buried them in the white sand of Pereybere and let some float away in the port of Grand baie. You know how much that place means to me. You gave some to the mountains and sprinkled some in the sky. I’ve never seen the stars like I’ve seen them with you. How can I love you and hate you at the same time. Mauritius, how can I despise you when you touched my life in a way no one could but Mauritius, my memories have so many points of sadness and distress.
You were my dream. My future. My potential blood. You were my life. My body. My mind. My soul was with you Mauritius. You were meant to keep me. Instead you showed me your ugly truths. All the beautiful exteriors, promises and sun blazed stories. You took them away from me. You lied. You tricked me. I’m going to tell the world about you Mauritius. The truth. One day.
Right now I am a coward. I am ignoring your wrath. I’m in a dream and being completely selfish to protect myself. You’ve made me hide away from the cruelty and pain that is still very much alive every day. I am reminded daily by photos and stories from my dear friends there with you still working to save the lives of the voiceless. The nightmares I had with you Mauritius, those first few weeks especially. The tears I cried just from hearing the screams of those needing souls during the warm nights.
Mauritius you were supposed to show me beauty, but your beauty is harshly overcome with the truth of those who do not speak. Those animals. My animals. You should be ashamed. You’ve left me hiding, wearing my rose tinted glasses back here in England. You left me struggling to keep in contact. To keep helping. You’ve done that. It won’t be forever Mauritius but the voiceless don’t have a minute to loose. Be ready for me Mauritius. I’m almost done. I’m almost ready to step back into your fucked up reality of beauty mixed with pain. I will help. I will do what I can. I will give my heart back. But it’s not for you Mauritius. It will never be for you.
For the voiceless, the angels and my friends.